Updated: Apr 3
Probably one of the most daunting and scary challenges that people more often than not avoid at all costs even at the expense of their own happiness. Starting again. It's one of the hardest things to do especially the first time. The insecurity it creates can be incomprehendible and it runs into almost all aspects of life. Stuck in a job we don't enjoy, a town, a relationship etc. Sometimes just because we're too scared to start again. You know we often ask ourselves will I fail? Will people think I was already a failure? Am I a quitter? Maybe it won't be better. Maybe life is as good as it gets right now. Will it be better or worse?
Questions that stop us all from taking the risk of starting again and to be honest I don't have the answers. Nobody really does. But if you're sitting here thinking about greener pastures then you have to really ask yourself why? Are you happy where you are? Would you be considering a change if you were genuinely happy?
I'm here talking about this topic from experience. I was stuck for lack of a better word. I was stuck in a job I was actually very unhappy in. And a relationship that had just kind of fizzled. In a town that I loved growing up as a child but wasn't really like propelling me further as an adult. I wasn't really growing. I was too scared of what people may think of me or what the outcome might be. After exhausting other options I still didn't want to stand up and say I'm not happy. I was scared. Until something shook me to my absolute core.
My best mate Jimmy, a brother, took his own life. I still remember where I was when I found out. Nothing I have faced in this life was harder than that loss. I've got stories for days about that dude and I'm sure I'll tell a few if I can. And will definitely dive into the mental health and suicide at some point too. But this was the moment that I decided that life was too short and changes had to be made. Whether people accepted it or not. I was doing it for me. I wasn't happy and how could I expect to make other people genuinely happy too if I wasn't myself.
See the thing we don't realise about holding ourselves back often selflessly is we actually hold those around us back too. Who's to say someone else won't enjoy your job more. That a relationship with another will have more drive on both sides. A fresh scene won't spark something in you that inspires greatness and infects others. So it was once Jimmy left that I refused to hold back and it started with my weight loss journey. Again something that we'll talk about later but that's where it began. I lost 50 kilos and became fitter than anyone could have imagined when I was walking around at that 128kg. Then I left my partner at the time. Now it was tough on both sides. I don't think it's not often spoken about how hard it is for the one that pulls that proverbial trigger. It's tough. The criticism from those closest to you and the judgment from the outside. But you know what that worked out amazingly too. I left my job that I was unhappy in to chase a dream. One that it didn't exactly pan out but one that I went at refusing to hold back. It was the complete opposite of what I dreamt but that's okay. I know now and I'm on to the next. And then lastly my new partner and I, my amazing fiance, packed up our life, sent our two cats packing with their fish and hopped over the pond from Melbourne Australia to North Yorkshire UK where her family is.
Now I was scared each and every time most definitely that I started again. But each time I did it got easier. Was it tough? Man sometimes especially in the earlier attempts I wanted to give up. Not going to lie it was absolutely brutal. You know physically and mentally. The thing that makes it all easier and worth it though is the fact that each move brought me closer to my own happiness.
Happiness that I now get to share with those around me and you. So no matter what it is you want to do just remember you're not alone. And even though starting again is scary, terrifying even, you got to ask yourself are you more scared of staying where you are unhappy or potentially failing? Because trust me there's beauty in failing too. It's where we learn our best lessons in the hardest times. So go get it. Start again, again and again and again until you get it is what it is you're after. You know sometimes you're not even going to know what it is you're after but when you get it you'll know. I know I have and I wouldn't look back for a second. So if you're sitting there contemplating about starting over again no matter what aspect of life it is you're thinking about resetting maybe take this as a little sign that it's time to start again and that people do it all the time all over the world and that you're not a failure. Where's failure in chasing something you love? You know even if you don't get it you've learned a lesson. Trust me you will learn a lesson no matter what.